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The Onion
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The Onion
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12 hours
Police Department Defends Decision To Buy Entire Fleet Of 1967 Ferraris
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The Onion
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17 Days In Incubator Longest Time Premature Baby Will Go Without Being Exposed To Advertising
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Dad Spends Entire Vacation Asking How This Many People Out At Coffee Shops On Weekdays
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5 days
Cop Too Drunk To Administer Field Sobriety Test
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The Onion
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6 days
Friend From Red State Fondly Recalls Beloved Grade School Tradition Called ‘Slave Days’
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The Onion
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6 days
White Person Way Too Proud Of Using WhatsApp
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The Onion
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1 week
National Park Visitors Treated To Majestic Sight Of Crow Eating Napkin
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The Onion
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1 week
Mom Pretty Jealous Of All The Dick Teenage Daughter Going To Pull With Those Highlights
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The Onion
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1 week
Heart Transplant Recipient Walks Daughter Of Deceased Donor Pig Down Aisle
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The Onion
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1 week
Man Stops One Oreo Short Of Successfully Eating Away Problems
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